With a year-in-review of 2009 (work with me here, people):
JANUARY
Barack Obama makes history as the first African-American sworn in as President of the United States; Invoking legacy of Franklin Roosevelt, promises America “nine years of economic depression, four years of world war, eventual nuking of Japan”
Obama supporters left disappointed as oceans remain at static levels, planet fails to heal self, Dow drops below zero
Read the whole thing for your morning chuckle.