The Europeans have got one, you know? I think they borrowed it from Bernanke. You remember, back during the start of the recession good, old Bernanke stood before the majestic Ponzi Tree, clicked his heels three times while sacrificing a live goat before a statue of John Maynard Keynes and, presto!, a trillion dollars appeared. With which money he then bought up all the bad assets in America (well, a lot of them, anyways) – and things have been going swell in our economy ever since.
Right?
Seems that our European cousins have got themselves in to a similar fix. With the appearance of the Lehman Bear in the Greek bond market, the Europeans knew they were in a fix. But, wise men that they are, they have Bernanke on speed dial and thus were able to borrow the Ponzi Tree (Bernanke will want it back, of course – there is that tricky thing of keeping our markets afloat until November 3rd, ya know?).
Tyler Durden, notes that, so far, the Europeans haven’t gotten as much out of the tree as Bernanke (the theory is that it might be illegal to sacrifice a live goat in Europe – discussions are now running along the lines of perhaps having the goat married to a transgendered couple in the Netherlands as a substitute), but even in their less experienced hands, about $55 billion in magic money has been shaken lose. They’re looking forward to getting hundreds of billions out of it, all told.
They’ll be using the magic money to prop up government bond sales in Europe. This will make everything all better because everyone knows that when you use magic money to buy up worthless bonds from bankrupt nations, the whole problem disappears forever and will never trouble anyone ever again. Think of it in terms of a crushing burden of debt which can never be repaid suddenly becoming a little butterfly – swooping to and fro, never to land anywhere.
And that, boys and girls, is how they fix a problem in our modern world. Go sleep tight and worry not in the least – the capable people who brought forth the economic crisis are on the job fixing the problem.
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