From Iowahawk, naturally:
Thousands of celebrating Britons gathered outside Peckham Council House Abbey to toss rice and empty vodka bottles this afternoon, following the gala royal wedding of HRH Tiffany Skinner, Chavesse of Alcester, and Wayne MacDuffie, Grand Ned of Glasgow.
“Blu’y ‘ell, issa roit fookin proppa chushdy bok, innit?” said Manchester great-grandmother Sharron Spebbington, 38, tearfully echoing the thoughts of many while kicking the skull of a unconscious co-celebrant…
I have to say that something rankles me about the whole show yesterday – the vast sums of money expended to put on a show…the tail end of a monarchy, reigning over a dying nation. I mean, I’m sure they’re a nice couple and I hope they have a long, happy life together…but, let’s face some facts here: Brits aren’t having kids, demographically they are heading straight in to decline; whom will William reign over 50 years from now when grandma and dad are finally gone?
The monarchy is, well, kind of fake. Originally imported from Germany in order to forestall the horror of a Catholic monarch, the institution atrophied over the years, leaving Britain entirely at the command of whichever group of politicians got the most votes at the last election. The monarchy plays a role no more important than that of a puppet; a well-programmed robot could do it. If there was something real in the show yesterday, I wouldn’t have minded it…but its play acting by all concerned. Fine for a childrens play, but not for something which is costing tens of millions of dollars.
And imagine how it is for them – having to be perfect at all times, never daring to make a mistake. The press which is slobbering over them right now will turn on them in an instant if it means more ratings or newspaper sales. Kids have to be brought up in a security bubble, always on guard lest some nut out there decide to take a shot. And what future for the couple’s first born? Given the way the royal family is living on in to advanced old age these days, any kid born in 2012 will be lucky to make it to the throne before 2070. A whole life scripted and acted out on a movable stage, with no real opportunity to affect the course of events either in personal life or the life of the nation.
Better to just give it up as a bad job – or start electing the king; at least then the king could have some power and do something useful…and not be chained to the oar for a life time.
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