From Investors Business Daily:

Experiments performed by a European nuclear research group indicate that the sun, not man, determines Earth’s temperature. Somewhere, Al Gore just shuddered as an unseasonably cool breeze blows by.

The results from an experiment to mimic Earth’s atmosphere by CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, tell researchers that the sun has a significant effect on our planet’s temperature. Its magnetic field acts as a gateway for cosmic rays, which play a large role in cloud formation.

Consequently, when the sun’s magnetic field allows cosmic rays to seed cloud cover, temperatures are cooler. When it restricts cloud formation by deflecting cosmic rays away from Earth, temperatures go up…

Who woulda thunk it?  That big, bright, hot yellow thing in the sky is responsible for the temperature?  I’m telling you, this is the shock of all shocks…to think that for years we’ve been thinking it was driving cars which determined temperature!  How did our brave men of science like Al Gore miss this?  How are we going to save the polar bears, now?  For crying out loud, the Goron is quite a potentate, but I don’t know if even he can turn off the sun…