If Liberals Acted Upon Their Convictions

Then stories like this would be true:

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activists, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it, ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960′s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passersby. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’ and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”…

 

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11 thoughts on “If Liberals Acted Upon Their Convictions

  1. Jeremiah December 2, 2012 / 3:36 am

    “Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

    BAAAAAHAHAHAAAaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Amazona December 2, 2012 / 4:01 am

    ““That’s just our secret hand shake,” …”

  3. J. R. Babcock (@JRBabcock) December 2, 2012 / 9:19 am

    Well, I’ll tell you — when push comes to shove, and it almost certainly will if we continue the road we’re on, liberals will be lucky if all they get is pissed and farted on.

  4. Cluster December 2, 2012 / 9:42 am

    Hilarious story. Liberals aren’t known for their judgement that’s for sure. I encourage all liberals to go in full support of gay marriage at the next meeting of CAIR.

    • M. Noonan December 2, 2012 / 9:59 pm

      Exactly! I want a massive demonstration by ACT UP! I want them to pick the most radically Jihadist mosque in America and throw condoms at the Muslims as the leave. I want them to head down to the border and start demonstrating against the cartels’ abuse of women and immigrants! We’ll see that sort of thing when pigs fly…but, heck, gay rights activists have desecrated the Blessed Sacrament in Catholic Churches, so why don’t some of them go and, say, burn a Koran in a mosque? Just askin’…

  5. GMB December 2, 2012 / 10:08 am

    I would also like the homosexual pride people to stage a march in downtown Tehran or Riyadh. That would show the world they are serious would it not?

  6. J. R. Babcock (@JRBabcock) December 2, 2012 / 10:21 am

    Even San Francisco is getting fed up with radical gay activists. I especially loved this part:

    The proposed ban predictably has produced outrage, as well as a lawsuit. Last week, about two dozen people disrobed in front of City Hall and marched around the block to the amusement of gawking tourists and high school students on a field trip.

    Stripped down to his sunglasses and hiking boots, McCray Winpsett, 37, said he understands the disgust of residents who would prefer not to see the body modifications and sex enhancement devices sported by some of the Castro nudists. But he thinks Wiener’s prohibition goes too far in undermining a tradition “that keeps San Francisco weird.”

    Oh come on now — who could possibly be “disgusted” by seeing the public display of body modifications and sex enhancement devices? What are we — prudes?

    • neocon01 December 2, 2012 / 1:35 pm

      I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’ and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

      Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

      I think I know those guys (bikers) LOL

      • neocon01 December 2, 2012 / 1:38 pm

        GMB

        I would also like the homosexual pride people to stage a march in downtown Tehran or Riyadh. That would show the world they are serious would it not?

        a million man nude in, in mecca would be a good start.

    • ricorun December 2, 2012 / 6:00 pm

      The part I especially loved is that the name of the guy proposing the ban is named Wiener. I wonder if he’s any relation to Anthony.

      • neocon01 December 3, 2012 / 10:09 am

        maybe his TWIN

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