Humor

The Conservative Media Complex

Cluster5 Comments

You will be wanting to sit down for this one, lest you sprain an ankle falling over laughing. In the CNN opinion page today, Julian Zelizer outlines why Obama just can’t seem to catch a break, and reason #3 is …… wait for it ……. the conservative media complex:

3. The conservative media complex: Conservatives have been enormously successful in building a sophisticated network of media institutions since the 1970s. During the time of the conservative revolution in American politics, the right paid close attention to building an infrastructure on radio, television and the Internet through which to promote their ideas and counteract, what they saw, as a liberal bias in the mainstream media.

The result has been that even though Obama retained control of the White House, conservatives have their own bully pulpit through which to communicate their opposition and analyze news in a way that is unfavorable to Democrats. The President confronts a constant barrage of unfavorable news, literally, regardless of what he does or does not do.

Don’t you love that last line? “The President confronts a constant barrage of unfavorable news”. Un fricking believable. I am amazed that they let this go to print, but they definitely do cater to their own echo chamber, don’t they? What’s really amazing is that NBC, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NPR, CNN, the LAT, the NYT, Newsweek, HuffPo, etc, have been unable to combat this “constant barrage of unfavorable news” coming from the conservative media complex. How incompetent does that make them?

The Daily Chuckle

Cluster24 Comments

Time for a humor thread, and who better to kick things off, than the clown in the White House:

“At some point, we’ve got to do some governing. And, certainly, we can’t keep careening from manufactured crisis to manufactured crisis.” – Barack Obama, Monday, February 25, 2013

Can’t keep going from manufactured crisis to the next?? Why not? You’ve built your entire Presidency around doing just that. I will tell you folks, you will have to keep a sense of humor over the next four years, or you might just lose your mind. There is a lot of comedic material with this White House, especially when Joe Biden is the side kick – so let’s all post the nonsense that emanates from this regime and have some laughs.

If Liberals Acted Upon Their Convictions

Mark Noonan11 Comments

Then stories like this would be true:

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activists, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it, ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960′s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passersby. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’ and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”…

 

Ed Schultz’s Campaign for Wisconsin

Retired Spook73 Comments

For those of you who don’t know Ed Schultz, he’s one of Cluster’s favorite comedians, broadcasting his ever-so-popular show from that dynamic comedy channel, MSNBC. The indomitable Schultz is waging a one-man campaign to save Wisconsin from the evil Scott Walker.  I say “one-man” because pretty much everyone else in the lame-street media has abandoned the effort.  But if it’s one thing that ol’ Ed lacks it’s shame and the capacity to be embarrassed.

Now that Wisconsin isn’t collapsing, and in fact is seeing a dramatic economic improvement, it’s somehow no longer Hosni Mubarak’s Egypt, and the liberal networks have pretty much stayed away. But Schultz keeps pounding away in a panic, lamenting that not only is Walker “the worst governor in the country,” but that those evil Republicans and their capitalist funders like the Koch brothers are “trying to make it so Barack Obama doesn’t get re-elected and no Democrat ever will be elected into the White House.” Schultz warned, “There’ll never be a Democratic president in our lifetime again.  And when I say in our lifetime, I’m talking about a long, long, long, long, long time.”

We’ll find out in about 3-1/2 days whether or not  Ed’s singular efforts have been successful.  It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall in either case.

Hat-tip to Cluster for the link for this post

 

Big Fat Mike…

Leo Pusateri25 Comments

It looks like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade float..err.. I mean Michael Moore had his clock cleaned today.

Seems like the “champion of the little guy” — one of the-err..99-percenters had a bit of trouble when pressed about his $50 million dollars he was sitting on:

What I was wondering, what the hell were those #OWS protesters feeding him? I mean, a guy like that’s gotta eat…

And then I came up with this…

To the tune of “Big John“ by Jimmy Dean:

It all started one morning on the fifth of June.
the night that there was a big blue moon..
from that day on twasn’t a donut that was safe
from the mouth of a great big oversized waif named Mike..
Big Mike, Big Miiiike..Michael Moore..

Well, the donut shop was a big hangout but he
ate all the donuts and he let out a shout-
he said “Where’s more donuts?!” and the blow of his hand
sent another poor baker to the promised land, Big Mike…

Big Mike.. Big Miiiiike..Michael Moore!

Well all the donuts were gone-he grazed out of his range,
so he went to McDonald’s to watch the numbers change-
after 3 million burgers he let out a sigh-
“With a meal like that I can go for some pie”

Big Mike. Big Mike–Big Miiiike- Michael Moore..

Well all the food was gone, there wasn’t a lead-
everything was gone from fruit to seed,
so the townspeople said, “Everyone take heed-
let’s blow this town, cause there’s nothin left to feed Mike!”

Twas a voracious appetite that led Mike on,
to eatin’ everything from buildings to lawn,
and he ate and he ate til there wasn’t nothing left,
but this nine-story building at 5th & Calumet-Big Mike.

(Big Mike..Big Miiiike- Michael Moore).

Well, he started on the cornerstone and ate his way indoors-
he gobbled everything from the sinks to the floors-
but when he got to the trusses, the building collapsed–
and everybody knew they finally seen the last of Big Mike..

(Big Mike..Big Miiiike- Michael Moore)..

Well there’s not much left of that town today-
all the townspeople just moved away..
not much of that building, ‘cept a sign quite big- sayin’
“AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BUILDING LIES A BIG FAT PIG–BIG MIKE”

(Big Mike–Big Miiiiike- Michael Moore)

GAFFES MEAN THINGS* (*unless you’re a democrat)

Leo Pusateri14 Comments

Michele Bachmann today was reported as praising American achievements, such as the Intercontinental Railroad.

Of course, last time anyone checked in American history, there has never been, nor is there ever likely to be, an inter-continental railroad.

Unless they decide to build a trestle between New York City and London, England.

Of course, the media is likely to have a veritable field day with this latest Bachmann gaffe, and use it once again to showcase how utterly uncouth and ill-informed she is.

No wait. My bad. It wasn’t Bachmann who said that.

It was Barack Hussein Obama (hmm-hmm-hmm-pbuh).

Never mind.

Move along.

Nothing to see here.