An Observation About Men in Society

V the K notes what might actually help to prevent school massacres:

The best approach to ending mass murder incidents at public school seems pretty straightforward; make schools more secure. At the high school my son went to, there was only one to get into the school during school hours. You had to enter into a secure vestibule, then be buzzed into the main office by a staffer. This simple expedient, coupled with an alert staff, would have prevented what happened in Florida. It also would have worked at Sandy Hook.

This is true – but, also, a little sad. The thing about breaking the big rules is that you don’t end up with no rules, but with a lot of little rules, instead. We broke the big rules about what it means to be a man ’round about 50 years ago…and now we’re forced to enact a whole series of little rules to ensure that when the males who don’t know how to be men go nuts, fewer people will be killed and injured.

Men need to feel valued as providers and protectors. If men are not valued as such, then they will tend towards a nihilistic destructiveness. As no one was writing things down way back when, we don’t know if it was a man who cut the deal with the woman or the woman who cut the deal with the man, but the deal was struck: woman sticks loyally to the man and the man, in turn, sticks loyally with the woman…providing sustenance for their children and protection against other men. And when that deal was struck, however it was struck, for the first time a male became a man.

Yes, this does presuppose that the man, in return for doing his part, will gain a bit of authority – in Roman times, they called it pater familias. The concept was, ultimately, that if a man was to tie himself to one woman and make certain that she and all children were cared for, he was to exercise a level of authority over the family. Fair? Fair has nothing to do with it: it was what it was. It turned brutish males into civilized men who would throw their lives away in defense of wife, children and home. If you wonder at the return of the brutish male, look no further than our destruction of the idea of the man as protector and provider.

Build your security gates. Continue to drug males who won’t fit in. Jail them in ever greater numbers. Propagandize against “toxic masculinity” all you want. But unless men feel themselves to be part of a larger whole and have distinct duties and privileges attached to that, then we’ll continue to get madmen wading into our schools to kill.

12 thoughts on “An Observation About Men in Society

  1. Retired Spook February 17, 2018 / 12:25 am

    Continue to drug males who won’t fit in.

    And the vast majority of mass shooters fall into this category, either on psychotropic drugs or have been on them.

  2. Cluster February 17, 2018 / 9:55 am

    IMHO, we have become a society of 12 year old girls. The “feminization of our culture”, that Rush Limbaugh spoke about 15 years ago, is nearly complete. We are over emotional and under educated. We feel more than we think. I am so tired of listening to pundits, interviewers, etc., ask people how they “feel” about an issue, rather than what they think about it.

    The role of the Father has been systematically diminished over the last few decades. Women are told that they, and they alone, determine whether a life is brought into this world with zero regard to the Fathers desire, and as a consequence, we now have an all time high of children being born to single parent house holds with a growing dependence on government. And the loss of manufacturing and constructions jobs has made it increasingly difficult for men to earn a wage that even affords them the opportunity to take care of a family, you have two very strong cultural dynamics that are having huge negative societal impacts.

    • Amazona February 17, 2018 / 12:19 pm

      Cluster, I disagree with your conclusion that the reason for so many children in single-parent families is the attitude of women. My observation is that it is due to the abandonment of responsibility by men.

      As a woman, I fully understand and sympathize with the origins of the Women’s Movement and of feminism, as it has been hard to be treated as second-class citizens and denied equal treatment. Also, as a woman, I decry the rapid absorption of this original motive by the Left and its morphing into a toxic and destruction semi-ideological movement and its radicalization into anti-male hatred. (I say “semi-ideological” because while it supports Leftist political ideology much, if not most, of it is pure emotion.) It is the Leftist political ideology and its goal of destroying the biggest challenge to total authority, that of an intact family unit, that has led to the promotion of the idea that a woman has total control over the decision to allow a child conceived in her womb, nearly always due to a decision by her to engage in sexual activity, to live or die. Yes, it is wrong that the father has nothing to say about this, but that pales next to the fact that simple human decency should prevail, a basic respect for human life. If we say the father should have a vote, we are saying the father could vote to kill the child. That is the flip side of that coin. We should be saying no, the child is a separate human entity with the same right to life of any other child, regardless of the time elapsed since it came into being, and its temporary dependence on the body of the woman in question does not change that.

      So, back to the role of men. Aside from the concept that men should be the authority in a family, which I don’t accept at face value, I do agree that the societal role of men as the heads of families and the protectors of families, a role which was for many many centuries the defining criterion of manhood itself, has disintegrated. I think the model of “man as boss” led to a system in which there was a formal family structure, in which the husband/father was expected to be provider and protector but which had at its core no expectation of mutual personal respect between the spouses. But as far as societal stability was concerned, it worked well. It worked better when the father was also expected to be an active parent.

      The erosion of that societal definition of manhood has left males adrift—-now the definitions are pretty vague and constantly shifting, based on sports successes or money or some other superficial criteria. Few if any of those criteria have anything to do with the old definitions—-parenting, support of family, loyalty to family, even loyalty to country. They are all gone, gone or depleted.

      We know that the core of the ghetto gang problem is the lack of strong male parenting. Have any of the mass shooters come from intact two-parent families? I know the Columbine shooters had what appeared to be good families, both parents in the home, both parents apparently involved in their children’s lives, but I think many if not most (if not all) of the subsequent shooters have been from single-parent homes.

      The most important thing to remember, I think, is that most women WANT a strong man in their lives. They WANT a father for their children, a provider, a partner in life. It is the men who are abandoning their responsibilities. Yes, there are some radical “feminist” women who reject the idea of strong men leading families, but I haven’t met any.

      One thing young men are not learning is that women don’t demand riches, don’t demand new cars and big houses. The happiest families I know are of modest means. Television and movies and advertising in general promote the impression that “everyone” lives in lavish houses and eats in restaurants all the time and drives new cars. I hear a lot of complaining from men that all women care about is money, and yes, a lot of younger women are that superficial. But not all. When we are looking at the malignant effect of our media on our culture, this is right up there with corruption of the political process—–the distortion of reality that tends to make people, especially younger and more vulnerable people, believe that money and physical attractiveness are the keys to happiness.

    • jdge1 February 17, 2018 / 9:09 pm

      Some staggering statistics;
      • 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
      • 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
      • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
      • 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
      • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
      • 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
      • 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
      • 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
      • 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
      • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
      • 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]

      First, how do you define man or manly? It’s certainly not an age thing. I’m guessing we all know males who are called adults but are nothing of the sort. I think being a man is too often and incorrectly defined using attributes like, strong as in muscular, burly voice, macho, and similar terms. But I think it would be better to define real men using terms such as strength of courage, conviction, character and morals. Those things rarely happen without being shown how by fathers (and mothers) and/or father figures who were taught the very same. Real men strive for independence thru hard work, dicipline & initiative.

      While I too believe the fathers / husbands should be authoritative figures, that does NOT mean a dominating, demeaning or bossy. Those are the traits of a bullish coward. As the head of the household, “authoritative” should be used more in the context of respect, responsibility, honor, sacrifice, a desire for family unity & wellbeing. All of those qualities are becoming greatly diminished in a worldly society, devoid of God.

      Reasons children are growing up without fathers – the decaying moral fabric of society.

      I read an article the other day “And the devil smiled”.
      We’ve raised a generation to believe that truth is relative – that there is no right or wrong.
      And the Devil smiled.

      They kicked God out of public schools – banned Bibles and prayer.
      And the Devil smiled.

      We’ve destroyed the traditional family – broken homes raising broken kids.
      And the Devil smiled.

      There are no consequences for bad behavior — no personal responsibility.
      And the Devil smiled.

      Our movies and music and games glorify violence and gore. Relationships poisoned by pornography.
      And the Devil smiled.

      Moral fabric doesn’t just decay overnight. It’s a slow and deliberate process, fueled by things like resentment, anger, hate, loathness, disrespect… Truth, is too often made obscure by repeated lies, deceit, and the illusion of being or doing good, when it is in fact, the opposite. Some saw the sexual revolution and drug culture of the 60’s as a movement toward freedom, lacking any consequence. In reality, those actions were actually the seeds of destruction that continuously bears fruit and proliferates, further degrading society. Who’s responsible? Everyone who allows the lie to be continuously told without standing up to it. I believe that’s one of the reasons this blog exists, to bear witness to the truth, shine light on wrong, dispel the notion that nobody cares anymore. It’s importance has greater value than most fully understand. Thanks to you few who endlessly give witness to the truth as you see it. You’re appreciated more than you might know.

  3. Cluster February 17, 2018 / 11:20 am


    The indictment notes that the operatives organized a pro-Trump rally in New York the same day as the anti-Trump rally, although there is no indication that the pro-Trump rally was as successful as the anti-Trump rally, which had thousands of attendees, including left-wing filmmaker Michael Moore. The Guardian reported 10,000 attendees at the anti-Trump event.

    So Michael Moore attended an anti Trump rally organized by Russian social media imposters. hahahahahaha

    The left has been played, the irony is dripping and the more we know the worse it gets for them…….

    Several Russian accounts posed as racial activist groups similar to Black Lives Matter. One of those pages, Black Matters, organized the Nov. 12 anti-Trump protest attended by Michael Moore and thousands of other protesters.

    Another page, Blacktivist, had a bigger Facebook reach than the official Black Lives Matter Facebook account by the time it was shut down. Blacktivist accounts frequently stoked racial outrage about police shootings and mass incarceration of black men.

  4. Amazona February 17, 2018 / 12:27 pm

    I wonder if our “mainstream” media will ever get around to informing the public that whatever Russian interference there is in this country is not partisan, is not in support of any party over any other, but is merely a general effort to sow discord and create as much divisiveness, as much distrust, as much hatred as possible. It’s all about destabilizing our country and our culture and our society.

    Russia saw what happened when the United States entered World War II and defeated tyranny on multiple fronts, from multiple enemy nations. Russia knows what a united America can accomplish.

    Russia also looked at what happened when Leftists were successful in dividing the nation while we were fighting in Viet Nam, leading to defeat in a war we had won.

    Russia watched divisiveness force us out of Iraq before we should have left, leading to yet another defeat in a war we had won.

    Russia plays the tune and about half of the people in this country dance to it—-all the way to our destruction.

  5. Retired Spook February 17, 2018 / 2:51 pm

    The way men end up isn’t always the result of bad parenting or inferior economic consequences — often, but not always. Sometimes it’s just the way they’re wired. Sometimes the children of well-to-do, upper class families turn out bad, and sometimes it’s the other way around. My grandson-in-law is a case in point. His mom is a perpetual welfare queen, morbidly obese, and, while not a “bad” person, is pretty much worthless as a parent. I’m not sure if she ever married his father, but the dad was in prison for drugs for most of his formative years. He’s a year younger than my granddaughter and they decided her freshman year in college (and his senior year in high school was a great time to start a family, resulting in our great granddaughter who is now 4 and the love of our life. Our grandson-in-law has turned out to be one of the most responsible young men I have ever known, his apparent ignorance about birth control not-with-standing. He enlisted in the Army National Guard as a senior in high school and made sergeant (E5) in less than 4 years, and is now deployed to the ME. They bought their first house during their third year of marriage after renting for two years. Everything he’s accomplished, he’s done on his own initiative, when it would have been much easier to just go on welfare. They’ve bought a lot things from thrift shops and drive a 14-year-old car. They don’t have cable or satellite, and get by with Netflix for $10/month. We could not be more proud.

    • Cluster February 17, 2018 / 3:21 pm

      I caught the end of Bruce Almighty the other night, not a bad movie with Jim Carey (unfortunately), but at the end, God (Morgan Freeman) says that “everyone keeps looking up waiting for a miracle, when they have the power themselves to create miracles. A child choosing an education over drugs – that’s a miracle. A single mother reading her kids a story after a long day of work – that’s a miracle.”

      Your grandson-in-law is a miracle.

      • Retired Spook February 17, 2018 / 4:20 pm

        He is, indeed. Not many young men (he just turned 22) his age, or any age for that matter, have as firm a grasp of what’s important in life, of basic principles like honor, integrity, personal responsibility, the value of hard work, as he does. It kind of renews my faith in the millennial generation.

        Oh, and ask Amazona how cute my great granddaughter is.

      • Amazona February 17, 2018 / 4:35 pm

        Beyond cute, and bright, too. I’ve followed the story of these young people for quite a while now and this young man truly is an example of how people can make their own destinies. His wife, Spook’s granddaughter, is also a remarkable young woman.

        And yes, many good and loving parents have had children who are violent, lazy or otherwise not very good people. There has long been an argument about which is more important, nature vs nurture, and I have come to believe that there really is a “bad seed”.

        Look at all the families who have one sibling who just seems evil, or close to it. The same loving parents, the same economic environment, the same schooling and church and extended family influences, but one turns out to be a liar, a thief, a con man, or twisted in some other way.

        But….it is still a fact that fatherless homes have been named as a key factor in the problems of young black men leading lives of crime and irresponsibility.

      • Amazona February 17, 2018 / 4:38 pm

        And many young black men have overcome lack of a father and growing up in a ghetto to achieve success—Thomas Sowell comes to mind. He was brought up by his grandmother.

      • Retired Spook February 17, 2018 / 4:43 pm

        Thomas Sowell comes to mind.

        Dr. Ben Carson as well.

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