Attractive Girls Union
Heh (content warning).
5 comments November 18th, 2008
Posts with the tag 'humor'
New John McCain Ads?
If you’re a fan of Hollywood directors John Woo, Kevin Smith or Wes Anderson, you’ll appreciate these “ads.”
1 comment October 21st, 2008
Need Another Laugh?
Courtesy of Mother, May I Sleep With Treacher? - its a joke, but its also all too true:
McCain Refers to Obama as “My Opponent”
By Every Reporter Who Still Has a Job
Every Newspaper in America
Page 1 above the foldMedia Bubble, Oct. 8 — John McCain’s bid for the Oval Office suffered another stunning blow yesterday when the Arizona senator referred to Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, as “my opponent.” The campaign-shattering remark came during a vicious, Hitlerian speech before an audience of drooling right-wing drones in one of those states in the middle, possibly rectangular.
“I believe that we should do things one way,” McSame sneered, his shrunken, twisted body and hideous visage producing overwhelming revulsion in all sane people who beheld him. “But my opponent feels we should do things a different way.”
In a comment appearing simultaneously on every single blog, newspaper site, and message board on earth, a number of private individuals completely unattached to the Obama campaign replied: “On behalf of concerned Christian conservatives everywhere, this is the sort of eliminationist rhetoric we’ve come to expect from the evil, cancer-riddled liar John McPain. We get it, old man: Obama opposes you, therefore he must be destroyed. This sort of disgraceful hate-mongering might be a big hit at your next cross-burning, assuming you live that long, but America knows better. The NVA should have finished the job, you miserable piece of garbage…”
That pretty much covers the tenor of MSM coverage and mindless, Obama-bot blog commentary. The universality of the hatred being directed at the moderately conservative John McCain shows both the determination of the elite prevail and the level of leftwing poison which has infected the Democratic party and the MSM ever since Howard Dean invited the Michael Moores of the world to come on in and have a ball. Even supposing that Obama were the better candidate, there is still no need for the slanderous and hate-filled attacks which have been launched against McCain and Palin - but the junior-league Leninists of the American left want to graduate to Advanced Leninism, and thus no lie is too disgusting and no level of hatred too intense.
People blinded this much by unreasoning hatred are headed for a fall - they might triumph for a moment, but it will be a hollow victory and, at any rate, I expect that the spluttering rage they are showing - which grows more intense even as Obama allegedly rises in the polls - will eventually cause all of them to self-destruct, from Obama right on down to the most mindless teenager using Daddy’s computer to post nasty comments on Blogs for Victory.
39 comments October 13th, 2008
Need a Laugh?
Then IMAO’s recent entry on Obama’s speaking ability is a must-read:
“Eeeeee!” squealed a Barack Obama supporter. “It’s Barack Obama! He’s such a great speaker!”
“It is time,” Obama announced to the crowd. “A time for change. A time for hope. A time for the hope that change brings… but also a time for the change brought forth by hope.” He stared at the crowd intently. “What you must remember is that teleprompter error 0657f8a9. Unrecoverable error. Teleprompter rebooting.” Obama made some hand motions for emphasis. “Dot. Dot. Dot. Welcome to your knew Junior TeleSpeak brand teleprompter. Initializing program. Loading test speech patterns.” Obama paused dramatically. “She sells sea shells by the sea shore. Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.” He took one last long look at the crowd. “End program.”
The crowd cheered wildly. Obama turned to his campaign staff behind him and gave them the thumbs up. “Me speakee good!”
28 comments October 10th, 2008
Young Obama Wanted to Join Army, Hunt Moose
Scott Ott over at Scrappleface hits the mark.
September 9th, 2008
Grim Humor
Scott Ott of Scrappleface nails the contrast between the pro-life side and the pro-abortion side:
Obama Begs Palin: Don’t Punish Bristol with a Baby
As news broke of the pregnancy of Sarah Palin’s eldest daughter, Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama pleaded with the GOP vice presidential candidate not to be too harsh with her daughter, who plans to marry the father of the child.
“Gov. Palin,” said Sen. Obama addressing himself to her personally, “you tried to teach your daughter about morals and values, but she made a mistake, and she shouldn’t be punished with a baby.”
As a goodwill gesture, Sen. Obama offered to pay for Bristol Palin’s abortion “at any time between now and the scheduled moment of birth.”
The fundamental divide is over the issue of life…in the end, there’s no other conflict in the United States.
27 comments September 3rd, 2008
Stuff White People Like: Comparing People to Hitler
They hit it out of the park, again:
Being a truly advanced white person means being able to speak with authority about pretty much any field of conversation- especially politics. In order for white people to streamline the process of knowing everything, all human beings can be neatly filed into one of two categories: People I Agree With, and People Who are Just Like Adolf Hitler…
Takes in 99% of Kos and DU commentary…
12 comments June 29th, 2008
Rich Fools Update
For parents who obsessively green every aspect of their tykes’ lives, there’s a bit of good news: A new organic preschool, Le Petit Paradis, is accepting students for the fall. Located in a former shoe store on Third Avenue near 93rd Street, the school is currently being redone with environmentally friendly wall paints, bamboo floors, and low-flow toilets. Even the puzzles will be made of wood, not plastic. Its founder, Christina Houri, a French expat and former teacher at Le Jardin à L’Ouest, was inspired to green things up by the “Al Gore movie” and images of dying polar bears, she says. Her educational philosophy combines Montessori’s (“They will learn to do their own juice”) with Bank Street’s developmental-interactive approach, and the $12,995 tuition includes total French immersion. But for many families, the best thing about Le Petit Paradis might be that it’s still accepting applications. Most preschool acceptance letters were mailed out last month. “Any preschool—green or not—is going to draw people,” says Pamela Weinberg, co-author of City Baby: The Ultimate Guide for New York City Parents From Pregnancy to Preschool. “There are not enough.”
Stuff White People Like accurately sums it up:
In spite of the recent ban on the New York Times, New York Magazine came through with an essential article for white person research. It seems as though regular private schools are simply not white enough for many parents. As a result a French ex-pat in New York has opened a French language Preschool, in New York, with $13,000 tuition, features environmentally friendly products and organic food.
This school also helps to give white parents one more reason for not sending their children to public school. “Public schools don’t have organic food, I can’t have my child eating pesticides. So I’m not racist, I’m just concerned over the food health of my child.”
Inside the joke, of course, is the kernel of truth - the people who will pay this 13 grand are very likely to be people who claim to support the public schools, but wouldn’t dream of sending their own children to one. Between theory and practice is often a wide gap - and nothing ever wider than the gap between the theories and practices of rich people, especially liberal rich people (and, yes, I’m sure there will be a Republican or two involved here - but if you think that Joe Sixpack GOP-base would have anything to do with this nonsense then you’re ready to purchase the Brooklyn Bridge). Another small observation - when liberals say “tax the rich”, they don’t mean adding a surcharge to the 13 grand tuition in order to help subsidise public schools…no, they actually want you and me (the aforementioned Joe Sixpacks, in our varied manifestations) to pony up.
112 comments May 4th, 2008
Stuff White People Like: Free Healthcare
Another hilarious - and exceptionally insightful - post over at Stuff White People Like.
In spite of having access to the best health insurance and fanciest hospitals, white people are passionate about the idea of socialized medicine. So much so that they have memorized statistics and examples of how for-profit medicine has destroyed the United States.
But before you can exploit this information for personal gain, it’s important that you understand why white people are so in love with free health care.
The first and most obvious reason is “they have it Europe.” White people love all things European, this especially true of things that are unavailable in the United States (Rare Beers, Absinthe, legal marijuana, prostitution, soccer). The fact that it’s available in Canada isn’t really that impressive, but it does contribute to their willingness to threaten to move there…
Read the whole thing.
15 comments April 7th, 2008
Typical White Boy
With apologies to Foreigner:
Hey, honkey, if youre feelin down
You know I know whats good for you all day
Are you worried that your friends are too white
Will it ruin your reputation votin’ against mecause you’re a typical white boy
Yeah a typical white boy
A typical white boyDont drive no tricked out car
Dont like no gangsta rappin’ star
You want to be authentic like me
You dont give a damn what the Rev say about youWell, you’re a typical white boy
typical white boy, typical white boy
A typical white boyYou’ve been a racist since I dont know when
You’re a racist now and I know somehow you’ll be a racist again
I’m your perfect black man, but then
You don’t really care who I amcause you’re a typical white boy
Yeah a typical white boy
A typical white boyC’mon, c’mon boy
typical white boy
17 comments March 23rd, 2008
Stuff White People Like
This is one of the funniest websites I’ve ever been to. A sample:
#12 Non-Profit Organizations
It is a known fact that white people make up 95% of non-profit organizations. They can’t get enough of them.
They like working there for a number of reasons, the most important of which is that it gives them a sense of self importance. This is important so that they can tell their friends and parents that they are “helping” society, and not just working to make money.
But the sweet side of non profits is that you are paid a competitive salary for your field. So you can be working at a non-profit and still make six figures, and you don’t have accountability or pressure. Again, like most things with white people - you can’t lose!
#2 Religions That Their Parents Didn’t Belong To
White people will often say they are “spiritual” but not religious. Which usually means that they will believe any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus.
Popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.
Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.
Could not stop laughing. Sheer genius.
12 comments February 24th, 2008
Hillary Fans
A grade school teacher in upstate New York, asked her class how many of them are ‘Hillary fans’.
Not really knowing what a Hillary fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except one boy.
The teacher asked Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, “I’m not a Hillary fan.”
The teacher says, “Why aren’t you a Hillary fan?”
Johnny says, “I’m a George Bush fan.”
The teacher asks why are you a George Bush fan.
The boy says, “Well, my mom’s a George Bush fan and my dad’s a George Bush fan, so I’m a George Bush fan! ”
The teacher asks, “If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
Johnny replies, “That would make me a Hillary fan.”
8 comments December 13th, 2007
Two Score and Three Years Ago
I was born. A dark time for liberalism, to be sure.
Interesting facts about Mark Noonan:
Both his grandfathers were soldiers, his father and Godfather were Marines…so, naturally, he joined the Navy.
Born in New York, but never lived there.
Became a conservative by osmosis when his mother took him to a Goldwater rally a few weeks before he was born in 1964.
Is not quite able to recite the Lord of the Rings, but hopes to be able to do so one day.
Gets a twinge of regret when he remembers that the Holy Roman Empire is no more.
Has a Marxist sister.
Also has a conservative sister.
Has an interesting family.
Childhood memory: His mother explaining that we are the fruiting body on a global-scale algae plant.
I said the family was interesting, didn’t I?
Had a top secret security clearance but was told that there was a sort of top secret message he wasn’t allowed to read; ergo, there is Tippy Top Secret.
Kinda puts double-secret probation in perspective, huh?
Still wonders why Superman stands there to get shot at, but then ducks when the gun is thrown. Also wonders why a crook would throw the gun after he saw bullets bounce off the guy.
11 comments November 19th, 2007
